II. Vengeance Cheated

For years, the thirst for revenge lay brooding and growing in my heart, consuming all that I was. I knew my desires were wrong, but I had been hurt more than I cared to bear.

I stayed on with David, hoping someday to find a way to avenge myself on Doeg and Saul. Any hope I had of hurting Saul, however, died when he perished in his final battle with the Philistines. I felt I had been cheated. My sole focus became finding Doeg and making him pay, but he had disappeared at Saul's death. Some said he had fled to Geshur, but there was no way to be sure.

In allowing me to serve in his army, David had done something new. Never before had Levites been permitted to fight. In time, however, the number of Levites in his army grew tremendously. By the time David became king at Hebron, four thousand six hundred Levite warriors had joined him. A priest named Jehoiada brought three thousand seven hundred Aaronites with him. One of their leaders was Zadok, a young Levite who had already made a name for himself as a mighty warrior.

When David became king at Jerusalem, I was appointed high priest along with Zadok. I was married and my wife delivered a son to me. We named him Jonathan, in memory of the only righteous member of Saul's household. The years continued to pass, but the desire for vengeance remained. Nothing could erase the memory of that day at Nob. If only I could have known how my final chance for revenge would come.

Absalom, the heir to the throne, had been banished to Geshur, but the captain of David's host, Joab, managed to get him pardoned. He returned with only one companion: Doeg. I did not know of it at first, and when I did hear, it was too late. Absalom had revolted against his father and was seizing the throne.

Although we tried to join the king when he left, David sent Zadok and me back to Jerusalem. When we obtained word from Hushai, David's spy in Absalom's court, we were to send our sons as messengers.

Urgent news came sooner than we had expected, and Jonathan was dispatched to carry it along with Ahimaaz, Zadok's son. Within a few short days, Absalom amassed his army and set out to meet David at Gibeon. I girded on my sword and set out to join David. I had fought by his side before and would do so again.

I reached the army before the battle began. In the presence of us all, David commanded his three leaders--Joab, his brother Abishai, and Ittai the Gittite--to deal gently with Absalom and spare his life.

The fight took place in the woods of Ephraim. To those of us who had fought with David before, the fighting was relatively easy, but the tangled underbrush proved deadly to Absalom's forces. More of them died from the dangers of the forest than we ourselves killed.

The fighting had been going on for some time when I saw him. I caught only a glimpse of his face. Although it had been close to thirty years since I had seen him, his features were permanently engraved in my memory. "Doeg!" I screamed.

Above the noise of the battle, he heard me. He looked around but did not see who had called him. I fought my way toward him. No one could stand in my way.

Doeg moved deeper into the woods. I followed him, hunting him down like an animal. Finally, he saw me. Recognition flickered across his face, and he knew why I was coming. The fear I saw in his eyes was one of the sweetest sights I had ever seen.

He stopped next to a fallen log and turned to face me, holding his sword at ready. I could hear someone else coming toward us, but I ignored the sound.

"Do you hear, Doeg?" I hissed, moving toward him. "All around us are the cries of the wounded and the dying. Not only do these cry out, but the people of Nob continue to cry, as well. They are crying for your blood. I am the arm of their vengeance, Doeg."

A third person entered our clearing. It was Benaiah, one of David's mightiest warriors. He was a large, hairy man, and preferred to use the quarterstaff he carried, rather than the sword which hung at his side.

I lunged forward to the attack, hoping Benaiah would not interfere before I could end this fight. Doeg parried my blow and struck back.

I had underestimated my foe. Although older than I, Doeg was my superior in swordsmanship by far. He drove me back with repeated blows.

A voice called Doeg's name. We heard the sounds of hoofbeats coming toward us, interrupted by a loud cry. A riderless mule galloped past us.

With a massive two-handed blow, Doeg knocked my sword from my hands. I scrambled after it desperately. Doeg raised his sword to kill me.

Suddenly, Benaiah was between us. He blocked the sword's blow with his staff and swung upward, giving Doeg a glancing blow to the chin. He staggered back and stepped backwards over the log. I had recovered my sword and leaped after him to press the advantage. Benaiah's strong arm shot across my chest and held me back.

Doeg took one more step back and the ground beneath him crumbled. With a shriek, he plunged to his death in one of the hidden pits of the forest. I ran to the edge and looked down at the broken body.

Infuriated, I whirled on Benaiah. "I could have gotten him!" I cried. "I would have fallen with him, but I would have stabbed him as we fell!"

"Was his death that important to you?" Benaiah asked calmly. He turned away and set off in the direction the cry had come from. Inwardly seething, I followed him down the path. A curious sight met our eyes. Absalom was hanging by his hair from the branch of an oak tree. A young warrior ran by us, saying he would tell Joab. Benaiah laughed and moved away, apparently trusting me to watch the king's son.

In a few short minutes, Joab arrived with a band of ten men. I merely watched as he walked straight to the helpless prince. Joab spoke to him, but his voice was too low to be heard. Then he took a lance from one of his men and drew it back. Absalom screamed a second before Joab thrust it home. The prince cried out again in agony. Joab calmly took a second and then a third spear and pierced the young man's body with them. The other ten men crowded around the body and made sure he was dead, as Joab walked away.

"We must find a fitting burial place for him!" one cried.

On inspiration, I told them of the pit. Delighted, the young men took Absalom and cast his body in with that of Doeg. Then they piled a great heap of stones over them both. I would have left them to rot, but I suppose they did what they thought was right.

Joab sounded the recall. The battle was over, leaving me with mixed emotions. Doeg was dead, but not by my hands. Benaiah had cheated me of my revenge. I reflected briefly on the differences between Joab and Benaiah. The one had stopped me from killing a man and the other had killed a man in direct disobedience to the king.

I returned from the battle to Jerusalem. It was over, but I now had more bitterness than ever before. It permeated my heart like the heavy darkness of night that fills an empty pit.